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The Brown University All-Star Team

October 21, 2022
Gabby Sartori

Now, if you thought I was going to begin this piece by gushing over John Krasinski and Emma Watson, you’re sadly mistaken (though they do have responsibility for resurrecting gen z). Am I about to honor my favorite teacher? Lunch Lady? Well, sadly Gale has left her Blue Room legacy behind. No, none of that. I’m talking about the unsung heroes here at Brown University. Whether you yourself have encountered them or not, allow me to introduce you to the all-star roster of people that make sure students around here really get the full college experience. The Bracelet Guy Listen, I’m sure he has a name, but we ALL know who I’m talking about. I like to think this guy owns the tiny spot in front of the bookstore on Thayer Street. No sir, I don’t want your jewelry. He asked me that yesterday, the day before that, the day before that, a year before that, oh and the year before that one. Honestly, I think he even asked my dad on my visit four years back. There he is perched on the street like he owns it. Some may mistake him for the town mayor if you didn’t know ours. Wait—I don’t even know ours. What’s really weird about this guy is that he probably knows more about your life than you think. I mean, he was there the day you purchased your first shirt from the bookstore and he’s always there when you’re in a rush because you’re late for class. I’m almost positive he’s had the honor of being your first “good morning” greeting on your walk of shame after a Friday night (apologies for personal PTSD I may have caused you.) He eavesdrops on your conversations when catching up with your mom on the phone, and waves to you when you’re trying to say hey to your friend behind him on the walk by. He patiently waits for you to cross ongoing traffic at the intersection where cars have the right-of-way but you try playing your own rendition of Crossy Road anyways. He’s the only obstacle on campus, but what’s most important to know is that he’s always there and always will be. Carl Carl is honestly one of those people you remember from a party the night before, and when you see them in broad daylight, it seems so out of place that you almost feel like you’re dreaming. The only thing different is that Carl is very real. Carl is extremely unpredictable and a one of a kind breed. Now, what do I mean by this? Well, have you ever been encountered by an old man in the middle of a sporting event, serenading you with a guitar solo? Yea—didn’t think so. Standing at a generous 5’6” with his New Balance grandpa shoes to compliment his platinum white hair, he is wandering all around this campus and I hope to God you’re lucky enough to encounter him for yourself. Carl might be the hidden gem this school has to offer. If I were ever tasked with giving a campus tour, I would play the biggest game of “Where’s Waldo” in order to find him and help advertise Brown to the group. Carl is famous for his presence at any Brown home sporting event, flaunting his rugby shirt he claims was the “original” jersey he sported during his time at Brown. For context, Carl is a proud, and I mean PROUD class of ‘76 member. He leads the student section, heckles referees, and rallies the troops regardless of what the scoreboard says. I highly recommend going to a sporting event to find Carl. If you’re lucky enough, he may offer up one of his beers in a 12-pack from Metro Mart. The Airsoft Snipers If you go to Brown, Department of Public Safety has definitely slid into your email inbox to tell you of the sniper sightings. And if you have no idea what or whom I’m talking about, consider me your DPS notification. Late night walks around campus on a weekday almost feel like you’re in a warzone. I know campus safety walk exists, but would you rather have Mommy hold your hand and take you from class to class or take the bullet like a champ and show off your battle wounds? You know what they say: No guts, no glory. At least I can say that all the stranger danger talks at school warning you about the creepy van slowly driving next to you are finally being put to good use. That damn walk past Benevolent Street is where the car lurks in the shadows. If you have headphones in, are walking at a slow pace, or just simply look like a vulnerable target, you my friend are the next one on the chopping block. I think it’s safe to say I fit these qualifications pretty easily, considering I’m three for three when walking to and from the east side of campus. Twice I’ve been struck in the thigh, and once they fired a money shot at my head, but luckily I was wearing a hat. You’re probably wondering why the snipers made this list. Though no positive impacts spur from their existence, they long to humble the students who may very well need to be knocked down a couple notches. Maybe I’m one of them? Naked. Donut. Runners. To put it plainly, it’s one of those “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” type situations. Should I whip my phone out and take a video? Well, if your friends from home ask what it’s like to attend an Ivy League school, how on Earth are you going to have proof without video evidence? But on the other hand, if your camera is out for too long I guarantee you you’re gonna be deemed a “pervert.” So what exactly is the naked donut run? Well, it starts during the long-feared late nights of Reading Period, triggering the mass movement of stressed future leaders of our world to campus libraries. This of course would involve students who lug multiple textbooks to their carrels for all-nighters and early morning cram sessions. But the libraries also draw the naked lurkers of the night to offer a sweet treat to those in need. Secret until moments before it occurs, the Naked Donut Run has long been a source of excitement, intrigue and mystique for stressed students in libraries across campus. The special day is usually on the last night of Reading Period. During the run, participants deliver donuts all over campus, from the Rockefeller Library to the Sciences Library to the Center for Information Technology. Once inside the libraries, all chaos ensues. A couple hundred or so runners disrobe and hand out doughnuts in the nude. Best part about it? They literally will go up to you offering a donut, and stay there until you take one. Thanks to the Naked Donut Runners, Brown is a place where nudity isn’t stigmatized or judged, and there is always a positive reaction from viewers of the “student body” (both literally and figuratively). Honorable Mentions V-Dub Backdoor: Don’t lie, if you run out of meal swipes or need to food shop off meal plan, this door is your best friend. “Mike”: He is the “Mr. Monopoly” of Thayer Street. To clear all misconceptions, he DOES NOT own Mike’s Calzones. However, he is the one behind your drunchies and hangover resurrections while owning Chinatown, East Side Pockets, and Baja’s. Archibald Basement: There’s nothing better than getting an indoor swimming pool from a natural disaster, right? Say it to the 37 displaced first-years whose rooms flooded this year. MoChamp Deer: I really do think this was God’s way of punishing the procrastinators trying to study the night before exams. Leave it to the MoChamp Deer to barge into the coziest study room on campus and wreak havoc as it trapped itself in the main vestibule. No animals were hurt, don’t worry. Hazeltine: I know in the way beginning I said I wouldn’t mention teachers, but when you see the 90 year old legend on a bicycle beating you to class, you know you’re at Brown.

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Bridges: a Sole Collection

Lucy Cooper-Silvis, Maggie Stacey, Luca Raffa, Mason Scurry, Jules Corwin, Maison Teixeira, Elsa Eastwood, and Desi Silverman-Joseph.
January 28, 2025

This article is the third edition of our collection projects, in which we ask some of our staff writers to each write a short blurb in response to a prompt. This edition’s prompt was: Write about a bridge. From card games to music to noses, we hope you enjoy our writer’s interpretations and musings on one of the most multidimensional words in the English dictionary.. Off Seekonk River - Lucy Cooper-Silvis Give me those folded bridges like calves tucked against thighs. Give me bridges gone to rust that would splinter like old bones if we lowered them again. Bridges a skyscraper devoid of offices. Bridges a ladder to nowhere. Bridges the world’s tallest trellis for kudzu, ferocious, devouring, and ugly blotches on the horizon. Fuck the Golden Gate, the London, the Roberto Clemente. Bridges neat and bow-tied and beautiful, bustling with neat and bow-tied and beautiful traffic. Bridges framed by rows of trees, fire-red in autumn, everything marching like order, order, order, good, good, good. Bridges so ready to ferry you—yes ma’am, no problem—from Point A to Point B. Bridges that don’t complain. Bridges built over inept bridges. Bridges forgetting the brokenness that came before. Give me those bridges more trouble than they’re worth. Bridges we’d rather not have. Bridges that put the fear of God in us. Bridges that groan, You fucked up. Bridges saying, I’m not needed, and only now I’m beautiful. Bridges that weep rust, like, Stay. Stay. Stay. Edwin’s Bridge - Maggie Stacey My 90-year-old friend built a bridge. It’s red, suspended between boulders, across a stream enveloped in thick dark trees folding into each other. The last time I crossed Edwin’s bridge, I was running through mud-soaked trails with my dog whose tail was tucked between her legs through the lullaby of the intensifying storm. Though the cold had broken through to my bones and my notebook was surrendering its pages to the caress of rain’s touch, I stopped to stand still in the middle of the bridge. I felt each raindrop land on my skin and I felt my heart pounding against the breath of the thickening air against my chest. I couldn’t remember why I’d been running. I ran into Edwin earlier that morning at the cafe in town. His face beamed with that Edwin-type warmth - the type that comes from a boundless passion for the world that makes one eagerly await every opportunity to spill discoveries of its beauty into another’s heart. I brought my tea to sit with him at his table and he told me the history of the French Revolution and then of France. My first tea turned into another until he said goodbye, he had to make his way home. Edwin’s my best friend’s grandfather, my mom’s best friend’s stepfather, my mom’s mom’s best friend’s husband, and my friend. On Edwin’s bridge time slows down, stops, and comes alive. Time holds my hand and we look together at the stream. Time is my past and my future and my mother’s best friend’s grandfather’s past and everyone’s future and no one’s future all happening together at once. Time stands over me and embraces me with the world’s song. Time sings the song of the leaves rustling, the creek rushing past rocks, the sticks falling off a tree branch. Time is here for sounds to become songs, for words to become stories, and for those stories to become mine to carry on. The Whee Bridge - Luca Raffa From the highway bridge, I could see the cool shores of Lake Ontario, even makeout the great Toronto skyline with my little eyes. The size of a teddy bear, I would close my eyes, shake my head loose, the wind lifting my soul, the tickle of childhood making me smile. Laughing at fear, I would throw my hands in the air, and from deep inside my tummy I would roar: wheeee! A miracle awaited me ahead: an ocean raging, shattering into an enchanting mist that rose up into an arc of a million colors. America was just on the other side. Since moving to Boston from Canada, my family would drive up to Toronto to visit my grandmother for Christmas every year. But crossing the Whee Bridge, I would keep my hands in my lap and tuck my voice into my throat. Stiff, I would nod at my memories in silence like strangers I used to know. The wind would hit my face from the window and beckon me forward. I was a ghost, entering a world of the past. It was a world that I had grown apart from, a world that had grown apart from me. But from over the bridge, I could still see the cool shores of Lake Ontario, could make out the distant Toronto skyline. In the bleakness of December, I would break a smile, rouge on my cheek, a crinkle in my nose, a tickle in my heart, knowing very well what this magic was all about. A Bridge to Paradise (Valley) - Mason Scurry I grew up in Montana, the northern heartland, the dusty soul of North America. I am wind- whipped wheat fields, a single-spiked mountain range (and then infinitely more), Lodgepoles stretching skyward. Under big skies, freedom is in no short supply. Neither is loneliness. There’s a bridge that runs over the Yellowstone River, parallel to I-90, between the Absarokas and the Crazies. It’s black, shiny metal, painted aluminum poles that criss-cross to form a tube around a train track like some steampunk rib cage. Mountainous, transcendentalist views extend infinitely through triangular gaps in the bridge. I know this because I’ve walked the bridge myself, jumping from rung to rung with the water roaring beneath me, proud I’d mastered my once-debilitating fear of heights. I was brave then, and because I was brave I was foolish, and because I was foolish I was free. And that’s what this story is really about, a bridge that’s free because it’s meaningless, free because it remains in Paradise Valley, but altogether lonely because its free. Gaps - Jules Corwin i. may i make you water under the bridge? may i draw the flesh from your bones and pull the fluid from your spine? may i curve you under the crook of your knee and watch as you lap along the shore? about sixty percent of our bodies are water. may we rise and fall in our tides together? will you show me each wave and ripple? ii. meet me across the bridge of your nose. step lightly from nostril to nostril. land at the cupid’s bow of your lips. bring me into your skin. let me dive from pore to lovely pore. let me huddle with your breath on my face. make me yours, please, i’m pretty sure i’m ready for you to be mine. iii. is each pair of ribs a broken bridge? bone winding around trying to touch the other only to be forever reaching out. iv. my grandma used to play bridge every once in a while. my grandpa played bridge and poker. now that my grandpa has died, my grandma plays bridge every week with a group of widowed women. their hands shuffle the cards, wrinkled and skilled from age, wedding rings still on, shining weights. v. how do i tell you that my feelings jumped off the bridge and you didn’t catch them before they hit the water? how do i tell you of the salty splash without re-enacting it with tears? will they fall from my eyes? will they pool in yours? who will catch the drops? vi. question: why did my mom cross the bridge? answer: because she can’t swim vii. in gymnastics, there is a pose called “bridge.” with your index fingers and thumbs creating a triangle, press your palms into the ground. push your body towards the sky and straighten your knees as far as possible. it may be uncomfortable to breathe. viii. we made bridges with our bodies, ached for our hands to cross every inch. we didn’t worry about what might be on the other side. whether it was sweet or prickly. ix. i used to walk down to the bridge between st paul and minneapolis. the lights on the other side reminded me that somewhere, people were dancing. x. the songs play bridges, croon across lyrics and notes. sometimes i don’t know how far the distance is, how many steps they count, but their words reach me anyway. xi. a bridge collapsed in maryland. and west virginia. and missouri. new york, indiana, mississippi, rhode island, illinois, ohio, iowa, new jersey, massachusetts, kentucky, pennsylvania, colorado, michigan, oklahoma, washington, wisconsin, south carolina, louisiana, kansas, georgia, virginia, florida, connecticut, tennessee, california, arkansas, alabama, new hampshire, north carolina, texas, minnesota, hawaii, montana, maine. thirty-seven out of fifty (seventy-four percent). xii. how many stones does it take to make a bridge? only one, if you leap far enough, maybe. xiii. our interlaced fingers bridge the distance between our beating hearts, and for a moment i imagine that we may feel the same thing. then your hand strays along the curve of my hip and i crumble. Track 12 - By Maison Teixeira I press play. I> The sound of a hand, frozen in time as it strums a guitar before I was born, plays in my ears. The guitar repeats the same two chords, four times each, over and over again. I leave my dorm room, descend the stairs, and make my way through the garden in front of my dorm. As I watch a squirrel scuttle across the grass, a soft, deep voice sings: “Underneath the bridge... tarp has sprung a leak... and the animals I’ve trapped... have all become my pets...” His melancholic words, sung from somewhere beyond this life, carry me through the busy streets. There is a distinct loneliness to his song, as if his voice is on the verge of breakdown. The world outside my headphones falls away, replaced with the sound of his voice and his guitar. The passing conversations, the birds tweeting and chattering, and the cars, whose drivers angrily mutter under their breath as I cross the road without looking both ways, all disappear to the bridge, the best part of the song, where the drums, bass, and the cello finally kick in. I make it to the other side of the street and turn a corner, but the road is closed, and there’s… “Something in the way...something in the way...yeah...” I look to the other side of the street. My best friend is walking in the opposite direction. II We smile at each other as I take off my headphones and cross the street, suddenly thankful that there was… something in the way. Crossing Over - Elsa Eastwood I read and reread Paper Towns the summer of our final visit to San Francisco. It was full of John Green’s characteristically cynical aphorisms, but one particular line lodged itself in my mind—one I couldn’t yet understand that was waiting for its moment. My family went to San Francisco every year. My parents grew up there, and they passed the city on to us like an heirloom. I remember the unfathomable magic of Fairyland in years when it was socially acceptable to sport striped pajamas in the daytime. Sneaking out just after dawn with my mother for focaccia at the bakery in North Beach, the old men hunched over cappuccinos and newspapers. Searching for pirates with my father in the dense fog. By the time my younger brothers were old enough to spell their names, we had done almost everything there was to do there. We met all of our Northern California relatives. We watched fourth-of-July fireworks from Aquatic Park and the wrestling seals in residence at Pier 39. We muscled our way through the entire Ghirardelli menu. Yet, one unturned stone loomed at the back of my mind. I remember seeing it for the first time—stretched across the horizon, cables fragmenting a cloudless sky. The grandeur of the muted steel, the romantic history. I sat long past my bedtime in the window of the rental house, gazing in dreamlike reverence at the millions of artificial stars that illuminated its sweeping limbs. How fitting its name was. How big and beautiful the world seemed. By that summer, the emblem of ingenuity had become to me a reminder of the one San Francisco milestone I had yet to conquer. It was time: I would walk the Golden Gate Bridge. The day came. Cars barrelled past. Every noise was thunderous. The five of us clung desperately to the red handrail, eyes darting between signs that warned, “The Consequences to Jumping are Fatal and Tragic”, “Emergency Phone and Crisis Counseling”, and “There is Hope! Make the Call!” My hair whipped my face until it stung. I pulled it aside just in time to see my middle brother wedge his body between two of the bars to catch a glimpse of the bay 200 feet below. “Donovan! Away from the edge!” my mother cried, her voice swallowed by the wind as she lunged to grab his arm. We watched as a particularly wild gust sent my father’s baseball cap cartwheeling through the air into traffic. A wail from my youngest brother pierced the chaos. I tightroped the line between speeding cars and fatal fall in silence. I felt betrayed by my vision, thrust violently into the truth like a toddler into a glassy pool. The bridge’s seismic hum made waves beneath my feet as I inched forward. I never thought I would succumb to negativity; the world had always been kind to me, my imagination always unchallenged by experience. But as I stood there, facing a 40-minute walk and the grim reality of my postcard fantasy, I understood: Everything’s uglier up close. The Plunge - Desi SIlverman-Joseph Jumping off the bridge was the coolest thing you could do when we were little. Addie was the first of us boys to do it. When he landed in the water, I saw my uncle’s face light up with pride. He pumped his arms triumphantly—as if to say, That’s my son! He’s not scared of no bridge. I still have the scrapbook photo commemorating the event. We stared, dumbstruck, as Addie climbed out of the water. My brothers and cousin offered congratulatory remarks, but I felt a pang. I sought that same approval—that stamp of manhood that can only be achieved by falling twelve feet off the side of a railing and into salty waters below. On top of the bridge, cars raced by, not aware of the feat of courage that was to be committed in their midst. I clasped my dad’s hand tightly and peeked over the railing. My insides sunk three feet. “Uncle Danny will be in the water to meet you,” my dad reassured me. He helped me climb up the two craggy wooden slats guarding the bridge. I stood on top of the railing, capped by a flat plank of wood so thin its width matched the length of my little feet. I witnessed the vastness of the ocean before me, blossoming out from my chest. My dad held my hand for stability. “You got this!” Uncle Danny shouted from below. My eyes welled with tears. “I can’t do it, Dad,” I choked up. I turned back toward the road, unable to look my dad in the eyes. I walked my wimpy legs back down to the seashore in shame and hoped that next year I would be brave enough. The cars still sped by overhead.

Maria Principessa: Un Sogno

Luca Raffa
January 28, 2025

I. In Campo, the ancient olive groves seemed to stumble up the mountains, as if they dreamt of touching the sky. Their canopies were thin. Their crooked trunks bent forward. Their thick, calloused feet sunk through the dirt. They sighed with the eastern breeze that carried whispers of the sea. A little girl wanted to disappear under these olive groves. While her brothers and sisters went to school to learn math, or grammar, or history, she learned how to sew. Her hands and disposition became rough. Life was not fair. II. Pepe Carino was a tall and handsome-looking man. His soul was big. His laugh was charming. His words were just. All of the ladies wanted him, but he only wanted her. He saw her one day in the piazza, knowing very well what to do. His cleverness brought her to him, and his passion kept her there. He cut her hair. They kissed once when he was sick. III. After boarding the ship which had waited for her at the port, after eleven days of floating in the ocean, after marveling at white flakes which danced in the winter sky, after getting married, after working in the factories, after buying a house, life became working in the basement on the sewing machine. It was cooking pasta for Joe when he called home from the barbershop. Plucking pears from her backyard in the summertime. Christmas and New Year’s celebrations. Family, food, sweets, cards, smoking, laughter. Taking care of her son Salvatore and her daughter Cora. Taking care of her grandchildren. Watching them grow. *** IV. In the mornings my grandmother wakes up from her dreams against the railing of her queen-sized bed, the other side empty, cold. She crawls, one foot forth, her cane like a scepter, regally guiding her to the bathroom. After showering, she wraps herself in warm clothes and an elegant scarf, spritzing herself with the fine floral scents of her perfume, combing her white hair softly. She peers outside: the sky is blue. She sits in her chair at the table, a cushion on her back. Her morning coffee is too bitter again, and so she sprinkles in spoonfuls of sugar, making a face of disgust when it is still not sweet enough. Someone might call if they remember her, but she cannot remember their name. Her name is Maria Principato, but her words do not flutter out like they used to, before.. Her lips stick together, sealed. Sitting down on her throne that faces the television, she spends hours in a spiral of thought. When she eats dinner, her chewing is loud, loathsome—it breaks the silence of ghosts that haunt her little bungalow. When the dark creeps in through the windows, she is ready for sleep. She puts on a white nightgown and crawls towards the edge of the bed. I can only imagine what this principessa may be dreaming.

The Wandering Albatross

Stella Kleinman
January 23, 2025

The strongest ocean current in the world is the Antarctic Circumpolar Current, coursing through the narrowest chokepoint around the White Continent. Average water flow is 4.77 billion cubic feet, over 600 times the volume of the Amazon River. With 40 foot waves and 50 mph winds, the Drake Passage from Argentina to Antarctica is a uniquely violent journey believed to have caused thousands of shipwrecks. I’m sitting by the window watching the world churn. The boat is pitching—skyrocketing up and plummeting down over wave after wave. If not for the gentle hum of the engine, I wouldn’t know we are moving forward. From the front observation deck, I can feel split seconds of weightlessness, where my throat becomes a vacuum and heart strands get caught between my teeth. Anyone with any sense is in their cabin, hiding from seasickness under ceilings, sheets, and eyelids. A smooth, dark silhouette fills the window, interrupting the vast expanse of otherwise empty sky. At first, I think it’s a spot in my vision– a hallucination from too many nights at sea. How could this stranger, this creature of solitude, find us here? Lifted by long, sleek wings, the massive bird glides across the air as if it’s a solid surface. With dark eyes narrowed ahead, it tilts back and forth on its axis to catch the harsh gusts. The sea falls to its knees at first brush with the bird’s wingtips, a kiss that stops at the lips, suspending itself in the air. Last night, Marten, an expedition leader and ornithologist, presented a PowerPoint about the wandering albatross. We sat on the floor like young children, watching him click through videos breaking down the bird’s flight patterns. The albatross flies in a unique style called dynamic soaring, which involves gracefully swooping through wave troughs on a cyclical path. Carving elegant lines through the sky, it can fly for a thousand miles without flapping its wings. Marten’s eyes glinted as he told us the birds spend the first five to six years of their lives without ever touching land. They can circumnavigate the globe in 46 days, sleeping with half their brain at a time. From behind the window, I watch the white-headed albatross swoop and fall and glide, tracing its flight path with my pointer finger. It is a being of wind and power, one of the elements rather than fauna. In one of my favorite poems, Samuel Coleridge’s lyrical ballad The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, a sailor shoots an innocent albatross for no apparent reason, cursing his voyage. The crew endures storms, spirits, and haunting mist as the dead bird hangs over the captain’s neck, a symbol of curse and punishment. The albatross’s mistreatment at human hands signifies the plight of the poet, violent acts against nature with catastrophic consequences, and individual sacrifice. Compulsory storytelling. The bird’s white head dips forward as it catches a gust and effortlessly outruns the ship along the air. My breath fogs up the window glass. Where are you going? Where have you been? What is it like to live surrounded by nothing but air and water, to fade into the horizon day after day? What do you miss? What can you call your own? The albatross answers with a glittering downward swoop. The first time I step on Antarctic land, I am so far away from home that my body is no longer my own. Blue ice crystals glow around my feet as far as I can see, hanging over themselves and creeping forward as time stands still. Every so often a chunk screeches and splashes into the churning ocean. Snowflakes bundle and roll, speckling the harsh slopes of jagged mountains. I picture a holy-handed giant taking a pocket knife to a block of obsidian, carving away sharp bits. Eating each slice of rock off the knife, one by one, then disappearing into the sky. I wade through water so clear and smooth I would try to mold it like clay if I didn’t know any better. I try to survey it all, but my gaze keeps snagging on rock piles and tumbling into snowbanks and slipping down the sides of icebergs into the silent ocean. I feel like I could melt into my feet, or catch a draft of wind and plummet upwards to the tips of the black mountains. I wonder if the sun still sets somewhere, if the streetlamps in my neighborhood still flicker, if the world is still spinning the same way, if I have ever been anywhere else, if I am still my mother’s daughter. If someone reached out and touched me right now, would their hand pass straight through me? I am stuck in time but nowhere in space, existing only elsewhere. I wonder if the wandering albatross leaves a piece of itself on every wind it catches, drawing lines around the globe. Ancient mythology refers to the albatross as the Prince of the Wave, a mystical spirit of lost sailors possessing healing powers and prophesizing divine fortune. By observing these birds, sailors adjusted their course to avoid harsh weather. To hurt an albatross, as demonstrated by Coleridge, was to unleash the wrath of the sea. When I was younger, I couldn’t fall asleep without first finding the North star out my window, or guessing where it was on cloudy nights. In a place where the sun does not set, what do you center your world around? What is it like to be as untethered and alone as the albatross, beak careening forward through empty space? On the seventh night, we leave the ship, hauling packs twice our size. Anthonie and Kai trek in heavy red coats, testing snow and whispering hastily in Dutch. Finally, they decide on a somewhat flat plot of snow as far as possible from seals and avalanche risks. They hand out shovels like goodie bags at a child’s birthday party, if candy and toys could protect from 20 mile per hour winds. Antarctic gusts are in the rare category of things you can only burrow under, never climb over or stand against. When it’s finally my turn with the shovel, I feel like I am digging my own grave. I lay down to mark the size hole I need, then hack into the snow. Fine powder scatters to the breeze every time the spade goes over my shoulder. I am cutting into the Earth’s southern crown, making room for myself in a place unlike anywhere I have ever been. Once I’ve dug a three-foot deep coffin, I gently arrange my two sleeping bags and tuck myself in facing the still-bright sky. Sharp gusts tumble over me, and I welcome the cool air as it buries itself in my lungs. As the temperature drops, snow crystals begin to freeze around me, molding an imprint of my body. In my mind, I am here to stay. I will crawl into this shoveled-out cove each night, watching the animals around me to know when it’s time to sleep. I will live off of mackerel icefish and Antarctic cod and melted snow. Each morning I will make it a little bit farther up the mountain and carve words into the rock, and then retreat. After a while, I will stop thinking about what I am writing. I could really do it. I lay on my back with my eyes open, breathing in the southern sky. A wispy cloud rolls down toward me, obscuring the mountaintop. Every so often, little gentoo penguins splash in and out of the water, always in groups—unlike the albatross, with its commanding wings and daunting spirit. For the first time since meeting it, I feel a dull ache for this mystical creature with no dwelling, this lonely flier. I pull my blankets tighter around me and sink into the earth’s embrace. I don’t know if I managed to sleep tonight, but I know I woke up. The crushing melody of Anthonie’s boots on the snow’s brittle surface invites me back to my mind. It’s four a.m., and we have a long passage to the next island. Once my eyes adjust to the light and I remember where and who I am, I grab a shovel from my neighbor and begin refilling my bedroom with snow. I pack it in and pat it gently, evening the surface so that there is no trace of my stay. I kneel silently atop my handiwork until my knees are soaked and it’s time to go. Back on the ship, I find my body in the same seat on the observation deck. The waves are gentler closer to the shore, and we are rolling side to side rather than pitching. I’m not sure how long I sit hugging my shins before I see it. Another albatross, beak open, dancing up and down along drafts. This time, I don’t question its solitary trajectory or spiritual meaning or how and why it can only chase or flee. I watch the polar breeze wrap itself around the bird’s wingtips and think about interlacing my fingers with my best friend. I watch the sea meet its feathered underbelly as it swoops downward and remember every time I fell asleep in the car as a child and my parents carried me to my bed, every leaf pile my brothers and I jumped into during the early Autumns of growing up, and every pendant a friend has fastened around my neck for me. I think of the way the spirit of the ocean protects the albatross, and let it glide out of my sight.

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Our Mission

Our Mission

Sole Magazine was created to provide the Brown community with entertaining and informative feature writing about true events, people, and experiences but without the stylistic restrictions of hard journalism. We aim to tell interesting stories in interesting ways, using techniques of characterization, description, and theme, while experimenting with structure and tone to produce creatively crafted narratives.

Meet Our Team

Nicholas Miller '24 (he/him)

Founder

Nicholas is from Baltimore, Maryland who concentrated in English Nonfiction and Portuguese and Brazilian Studies. He has a fondness for his mini soccer ball, midnight snacks, reporter’s notepads, and the smell of books. He also likes to learn things and write about them. #goat