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A Few Impressions

November 6, 2025
Juliet Corwin

– CT, left wrist – I drove to Connecticut to get my first tattoo. The studio, smaller than its parking lot, was tucked away in a gray fold of Stamford. It had been a drizzly morning, and clouds sighed as I walked to the entrance. Timidly, I leaned against the door so it wouldn’t slam shut and scanned the space for a pair of eyes to meet mine. It was my first time inside a tattoo studio, and it showed. Two feet in front of me, a woman lay on her side in a shirt, underwear, and Doc Martens. She chatted with her artist, who hunched over a spread of ink covering the woman’s thigh. The walls were covered in overlapping sketches and prints. Sitting by the only other station in the room was a large man with a permanent frown and huge biceps. I gathered that he would be my artist, and moved toward him. His frown deepened when he saw me. He spoke in short sentences, his voice low and quiet. I showed him the tattoo I wanted and presented my wrist to draw on. Opting for a purple marker, he splashed the design onto my skin way too big. I asked if he could make it any smaller. His eyebrows lifted, but he rubbed away the first drawing and drew it again, a bit smaller. I looked at him pleadingly, too nervous to ask him to change it again. He took the hint and resized it once more. It was tiny, barely a quarter of an inch in height and width. I smiled, and his mouth flattened into a straight line. He prepped the ink and the tattoo gun, and didn’t wear gloves. It took about five minutes to ink the design using the thinnest needle he had. He wiped the excess ink and a few drops of blood from my skin, and I could see the little lines now adorning my wrist. It was perfect. He explained to me that he typically asked clients to pay upwards of $100, but for this he wouldn’t charge more than $40. I paid him $60 and thanked him again. He nodded and pressed one of his sketches into my hand. I had been admiring it while the needle dragged along my skin. It was full of color and soft lines, a warm swirl of tones. As I stepped out the door, I saw that the woman getting the leg tattoo was now eating takeout with her artist. I walked back to my car, watching the clouds inch lower. My wrist stung as I spun the steering wheel home. – MA, right ear – For one of my later tattoos, I filled out an online appointment form for a studio in my hometown in Western Massachusetts. I got matched with an artist named Ian. The space was big, with a lower level for tattoos and an upper level for piercings. There was a waiting area with high ceilings and tons of plants. Ian emerged from his studio and greeted me with a warmth I trusted. He was bald with a long, white beard and eyes that crinkled when he spoke. Ushering me into his studio, he told me to hop up on the table and rolled his chair over to join me. The design I had chosen was simple, and I wanted it to sit behind my ear. He used a disposable razor to shave the edge of my hairline. As the blade scraped at my scalp, we chatted about tattoos I’d gotten in the past. We sized down from the first print he had made, and then he carefully peeled a purple outline onto my skin. He handed me a small mirror that reflected into a big mirror on the wall so that I could see the placement. I told him I liked it. He instructed me to stretch one arm out past my head and rest my cheek on it, lying on my side. The tattoo took forty minutes to ink, and he spoke the whole time. He asked me about myself, about school, about the tattoo’s meaning. I tried to answer in a calm and steady voice despite the pulsating needle bouncing against my skull. Several times he praised my composure, saying that most clients who got tattooed behind their ears can’t sit very well. It wasn’t hard to understand why. When he was done, he told me to take my time getting up. I ignored his advice, pushing up fast and immediately regretting my choice. The sudden absence of vibration on my head left my vision blurry, and I felt lightheaded as I walked back to the waiting area to pay. The person at the register was bubbly and asked loudly if I loved my new ink. I did, and told them so, paid and tipped Ian. I walked out onto the streets of my childhood, my new ink still buzzing quietly. – MN, right hip – My favorite tattoo was inked in Minnesota. A cold Thursday night in December, I arrived at a brightly lit studio in Minneapolis. I was a few minutes early, and sat on a very hard bench in the waiting area. My artist was finishing up with another client, so I pored over the design I’d asked for again. The appointment didn’t start for another forty minutes. When my artist finally came over and said she was ready for me, she seemed annoyed. I showed her the design and she scowled at me, snatching up her iPad and scribbling. She asked me if I had drawn it myself, which I had. After some more silent drawing, she held the iPad toward me. She had taken my (admittedly unskilled) design and created a much better tattoo. Her lines were clean, the shape gentle. I thanked her, she sighed. I wanted the tattoo on my hip, but because of the weather I’d worn sweatpants over my shorts. She rolled her eyes as I took off my sweatpants, pointing out that I could keep one of the legs on if I wanted to. I took the suggestion. When we sized the tattoo, she gave me three options. I picked the middle one, and she placed the outline on my hip. I walked, half-sweatpantsed, to the mirror and watched how the design moved with me. I loved it. I got up onto the table, lying on my side as she instructed. She inked in silence, except for a frustrated question about whether I was holding my breath. I had been, without realizing it, and tried to slowly exhale without annoying her further. When it was finished, my new ink looked delicate and natural on my skin. It is still the best tattoo I have. I carefully pulled the leg of my sweatpants back on over the wrapped ink. As I walked back into the Minnesota snow, my hip pinched with each step.

Most Recent

Most Recent

Trends: A Sole Collection

Lucy Kaplan, Juliet Corwin, Riley Stevenson, Elsa Eastwood, Ava Satterthwaite, Annabelle Stableford, and Anika Weling
February 12, 2026

In my youth, a jar of pickled herring claimed the back right corner of the fridge. I can’t quite point to my father’s Jewish ancestry as the reason; it seemed more of a personality quirk that compelled him to crave tangy fish on a seeded cracker before his three o’clock nap. My brother and I followed suit, curious eaters tempted by scores of gefilte fish and gravlax at break fast, Passover, and the occasionally attended Saturday service. On weekends, we grabbed bagels with whitefish from Lenny’s, a half-decent deli we remained loyal to for the name it shared with our late grandfather. Not the finest in the city, but every New Yorker knows that the best sandwich comes from the place around the corner. After our westward relocation, my appetite persisted. No longer able to race down the stairs and across the street to satisfy my hankerings, I stacked the cupboards with tinned fish of my own choosing. Smoked sardines in olive oil, thinly filleted mackerel, salmon preserved with lemon—a hazy ode to New York winters gone by. Salt and sour clung to the walls of our kitchen, reminiscent of the mom-andSole ME copy 25 copy (3).inddc 14 trendy to forget to eat. Somewhere around fifth grade, I think. pop shops we once frequented. This one, our own. When I left home, I folded my f ixation into my suitcase—not a trend, but a history. I etched a pair of salmon onto my upper thigh, drawn with a dark ink that felt like blood. A finelined reminder of Passover and Grandpa Lenny and my father’s pickled herring. Last month, I remember in health class, how my teacher told us about thigh gaps and how to check if we had them. After class, a group of us stood in a circle, touched our ankles together, and prayed for emptiness. We’d skip meals and then skip SILENT HUNGER WAS THE LANGUAGE OF THE STRONG. “ ” JU LIET CORWIN I stopped dead in my tracks at a familiar crosswalk in New York. There it was: the closure sign in Lenny’s window, dated two years prior and peeling at the edges. My stomach roiled as the word imposter came to my lips. I was sulking in a city that held my past and escaped my future. That same week, my father sent me a pair of winter boots, a tin of smoked f ish stuffed inside the left footbed. Somehow, he knew I was mourning. Sweet Girls By Juliet Corwin I try to remember when it became 14 rope during recess. When we got lightheaded during P.E., we’d lie and say we had cramps. (Most of us hadn’t started our periods yet.) When our bellies grumbled in class, we’d pretend not to hear it. We’d look at magazines of flat stomachs in low-rise jeans and poke at our pudge. We bragged about how long we could go without eating. We’d sneak chips and cookies when the others weren’t looking and hope the crumbs didn’t leave a trail. To eat was to be weak. We couldn’t give in to the gnawing. Silent hunger was the language of the strong. It became honorable to ache for food, a rite of passage into the womanhood we so desperately awaited. 11/26/25 4:46 PMAnd nothing could taste as good as skinny felt, right? I remember the shame that blushed at my cheeks after I caved and ate the pasta and chicken that my mother had lovingly cooked for me. On-Campus Observations From An Off-Campus Oyster Farmer By Riley Stevenson To be on a college campus is to be surrounded by trends. Spend fifteen minutes on the Main Green and you’ll see a dozen micro-trends, some here to stay and most bound to disappear into the backs of closets; new accessories worn in creative ways over ever-lowerslung jeans held up by a kaleidoscope “ HIS WORLD IS ONE OF SALT, FROST, AND FIREWOOD, OF WEARING THE SAME MUDCAKED SWEATSHIRTS TO WORK AND SEEING THE SAME FLEECECLAD OLD PEOLE IN OUR SMALL MAINE HOMETOWN. RILEY STEVENSON of belts all turning to dust. My boyfriend is an oyster farmer from a small town in Maine. His world is one of salt, frost, and firewood, of wearing the same mud-caked sweatshirts to work and seeing the same fleece-clad old people in our small Maine hometown–a life without much room for personal expression through trendy clothes. Observing the trends of our campus is his favorite activity when he comes to visit. He walks into the Blue Room, sympathetic to all of the college students hunched over their laptops, buys a coffee, and sits on the terrace overlooking the Green, noticing. As a freelance journalist and astute business landscape rendered big bands unviable. It died again in the 60s, when bebop became esoteric and cerebral, a “musicians’ music”. Young people wanted to rock instead of think. It went out with the Old Guard—with observer of the human condition, he is uniquely primed to note and catalogue, dedicated to his craft of perceiving what has changed since he last stepped foot on both this and his own college campuses. After I am done with class “ he barrages me with questions and commentary about what he’s noticed, like an off-duty WE MAY TALK OVER IT AT COCKTAIL PARTIES, LET IT WAFT OVER OUR HEADS IN ELEVATORS, BECAUSE WE, LIKE THE YOUTH OF THE 60s, HAVE ENOUGH TO THINK ABOUT. WITH MUSIC, WE SCROLL AND SKIM SURFACES. anthropologist, notebook in hand. He is excited, irascible, brimming with observations, seeking confirmation, ever-excited by his day’s work.“Does anyone here use a backpack anymore? Could the jeans get any baggier? Do you think anyone wants to buy my pre-paint stained Carhartts?” I shake my head at him and laugh, knowing the questions are the fun part, their ” answers irrelevant. We walk through the Green hand in hand as he tells me about his findings. I marvel at the ELSA EASTWOOD ” Armstrong and Ellington, Billie, Dizzy, and Dexter—and again with Bird, Monk and Miles, with Wayne and Coltrane. They say we’ve succumbed to the musical Big Mac of commercial pop, and not even Wynton Marsalis can bring us back. I believed them. Then last year, I won a ticket through an Arts Institute lottery to see Jon Batiste in concert. I never win anything on that website. I knew him only as the bandleader on The Late Show, but I had to go. Arriving at the venue just before 7pm on a Thursday, I stepped past a nauseatingly long standby line of fans clutching setlists and trading deep-cut references with fervor. I recognized some from my music theory courses and offered a few guilty waves over worlds we occupy, the observations that allow us to see how others see their world, how lucky I am to share this world with someone as thoughtful and observant as he is. Jazz is Dead By Elsa Eastwood They say jazz is dead. It died first after World War II, when a changing 15 my shoulder as a woman scanned my ticket. I chose a seat in the very front, just beneath the grand piano—the piano on which my jazz hero would perform a reharmonized “Star Spangled Banner” unlike anything I’d heard. His expansive fingers stretched across the keys like vines, entwining gospelinflected voicings with modal color, face contorting in testimony. His was a music of lineage and remembering, pain and power, the improvisatory human experience; a music that traverses valleys and wades through Sole ME copy 25 copy (3).inddc 15 11/26/25 4:46 PM“That’s the trend, Mom.” rivers, moving through space and psyche. It was sacred and lyrical, percussive and raw. Creation and truth-telling unfolding in real time. The arrangement lasted 15 minutes. Standing with the crowd, hand to heart, I soon shook with tangled sobs of peace, joy, and heartbreak at what felt like the most perfect convergence of sound and history. The old and patriotic, broken open in one trembling instant. I say jazz is alive. It’s adapting to a changed landscape, vivified by its own endurance, shedding its skin in the dark. It emerges between genres like a ghost in the machine. We may talk over it at cocktail parties, let it waft over our heads in elevators, because we, like the youth of the 60s, have enough to think about. With music, we scroll and skim surfaces. But if allowed, it will instruct. It will wait for us to remember how to listen. It will continue to send messengers to remind us that, bruised but dignified, it still pulses beneath the noise. The Chronicles of the Traveling Pants By Ava Satterthwaite The first time I asked to borrow my mother’s bell-bottoms, her face “ STILL, IN THOSE BELL-BOTTOMS LIVE FIELDS OF HER ROSE AND LAVENDER FRAGRANCE, DENIM THREADS INTERWIEVING LIKE STRANDS OF HAIR SHE’D DUTCH BRAID BEFORE BED. AVA SATTERTHWAITE scrunched in disbelief. “That’s the trend now?” she asked, befuddled. I never wear them, of course – the tide of the trend shifted long ago. Still, in those bell-bottoms live fields of her rose and lavender fragrance, denim threads interweaving like strands of hair she’d dutch-braid before bed, silhouettes of her twirling between twill ruffles like we’d dance in the kitchen to “Better Than Revenge” and “Fearless.” All around me are reminders of adolescence. Pink bow UGGs mellow into classic tans. Black puffer vests I followed her to the attic, where we coiled between stacks of doodle-laced notebooks, faded letterman jackets, and clusters of swollen crates— one labeled CHRISTMAS DECOR, another RECORDS + CDs, a third DENIM. It was like Narnia – an entire world of memories hidden behind her wardrobe. She found the bell-bottoms under a mound of distressed overalls and low-rises and threw them over her shoulder. Snickering, she asked if I’d like a flower headband or some fringe boots to finalize the look. But, as I stood in the mirror, smoothing the creased flares and fiddling with the waistband, a tear skimmed down her cheek. “That’s the trend?” she echoed, voice faltering. I nodded. “It’s just like I remembered.” ” When I came to college, my mother snuck those bell-bottoms into my suitcase as a farewell, her scribbled note stuffed between its folds. Call Your Mom! it insisted – like I’d need the reminder. Frankly, the further I wander from home – from childhood – the more striking our resemblance becomes. I listen to “Landslide” with such reverence it feels biblical. I add crushed Kellogg to my cookies “for some crunch” and dark chocolate chunks “for the bite” like she advised. I drink iced Sauvignon Blanc and shake my leg so excessively the whole table wobbles, its steady thrum reminiscent of our once shared dinner table. I never considered my s e l f sentimental until I rediscovered her bell-bottoms looming in the recesses of my dorm-issued wardrobe. 16 overtake matted lime-colored North Faces. Like my mother, I’ve been fossilized over and over, my fleeting memories buried beneath old boxes and new clothing, my own forsaken Narnia. The trends, timeless and teenage-dirtbagish alike, fill these archives with precious evidence of our evolution. I grab the bell-bottoms and look toward a clouded mirror. I’m much older now: cheekbones more defined, brows furrowed tensely. The denim is stiffer now, too. It holds me a little tighter, and I think warmly of my mother’s arms. It’s just like I remembered. Merriam-Webster By Annabelle Stableford trend noun a : a line of development : approach b : a current style or preference : vogue c : a general movement : swing d : a prevailing tendency or inclination : drift Approach: To identify three intrigues: two trends of my life, and for fun, a not so subtle trend that consumes me, which you may discover hidden throughout this text (although I am no mastermind). Vogue: So it goes, it is not in vogue Sole ME copy 25 copy (3).inddc 16 11/26/25 4:46 PMbe in vogue, nor am I in vogue. But I persist. Swing: According to my memory, everything that ever happened to me happened when I was eight. There were troubled nights and tears culminating in the visit to the energy healer, who proclaimed me a blind farmgirl in a previous life (that escapes me as well a pendulum now, coming back in crisis to explain everything). And the drunk man at the natural hot springs and the woman who told me to look away, to imagine his image washing away in the river (except “ Quarantine Trends By Anika Weling It’s sad to think of what I will say when my children ask me what I did during the COVID-19 pandemic, the most prominent event of our generation. I wish I could say I did anything useful. I could lie and say I helped save lives or protect rights, but in reality I sat in bed for months on end, fixated on a little LED screen I REFUSE TO FORGET MY LIFE: THE SHARPNESS OF WORDS, THE KIND THAT ONCE YOU READ THEM, THEY HARBOR WITHIN YOU. eight inches from my face. I listened to the distant hum of the news from my living room, an ominous loop of ANNABELLE STABLEFORD every time I try, the current reverses). And when I read Tuck Everlasting and in the story discovered a profound magic all for myself (novels, within my realm of independent reading now!). Ex. “You have a favorite spot on the swing set / you have no room in your dreams for regret.” 1 Drift: “Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.” I refuse to forget my life: the sharpness of words, the kind that once you read them harbor within you; the ten hardboiled eggs I watch someone eat at breakfast, all in one go (perhaps not profound, but noteworthy); the things that happened to me when I was eight and in all the eras after. All of this goes into my Volumes, my Immortal Histories, my Moleskines (2019-2024) and Leuchtturms (2024-present), my most critical trends. I don’t let any of it drift away. Ex. “Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.” 1 ” muffled, monotonous voices with nothing good to say, so I hid under my covers. I watched video after video on how to make dalgona coffee, while hating coffee, and how to 1 Attribution of quotes (spoiler warning): Taylor Swift do Tiktok dances, which I had no desire to ever learn. I saved DIYs and recipes to a folder, only to never look at them again. Propped up in bed, I took online classes while the world fell apart around me. The numbers rhythmically continued to climb. One million. Two million. Ten million. No one ever taught us what to do in the case of a pandemic. No one thought we would need to know. So in the utter chaos around us, we turned to distraction to survive, to escape. Never-ending entertainment f lashed passed us as we chased a relief we could never quite reach. We fell into rabbit holes where we never had to stop and realize what our lives had become. It’s trend, after trend, after trend. Around me, everything is still, everything is quiet.

Casio's Avocado

Miya X Wu
February 12, 2026

Suppose you exit the parking structure at Westfield UTC in San Diego and walk towards the open-air atrocity, filled with more options for oatmilk matcha lattes than are good for your sanity. In that case, the first thing you will see is one of the two Lululemon locations in the mall (really?). Ignore it, turn right. Not far away, a pink circular sign waves from the wall, the silhouette of a man in a newsboy cap looming over a cup of coffee, offering “Joe & The Juice.” The interior of the shop is on the darker side, a similar atmosphere to that millennial-run burger joint that serves its overpriced truffle fries on fake newspapers. The menu offers smoothies and juices whose names give you not a single hint of what you are ordering, except maybe the color of the beverage. This leaves the cashiers entertained as the queue of squinting customers try to read the ingredients in tiny print under names like “Iron Man” and “Prince of Green,” their eyes occasionally widening at the right side of the menu. On the walls are framed quirky posters like “I just saved some wine, it was trapped in a bottle” and “more espresso, less depresso.” One of the many posters humorously comments on the human encounter with avocados: “too soon… too soon… too soon… NOW too late…”, referring to the universal pain of finding your morning avocado, which you’ve been looking forward to all night, disturbingly squishy—even though you could’ve sworn attempting to cut it yesterday afternoon almost chipped the knife. On my left wrist, there is a permanent white band, a mark left by the joint effort of the sun and my Casio Baby-G that mom got me when I turned twelve. Its watch band is now off-white from the five years of weathering, with faint, darker spots on it from that one time I helped my mom dye her grey streaks black. That avocado on the poster from Joe & The Juice seems to have gotten itself a little too acquainted with my watch. Every tick of a handle, every tock of the gears, seems to smear that damned fruit into every uncleanable crevice of the machine. The rose gold watch face and its hidden surfaces are painted with a filthy green explosion of nostalgia, filling every unoccupied moment with the remnants of something that used to promise a great avocado toast. So unruly this fruit that its colors seem to bleed onto nostalgia itself, contaminating it with its bad habit of causing untimeliness. Nostalgia is the only word a writer can really put on it. The persistent state of “missing.” The endless cycle of living in the past and the future, but somehow never the present. You look forward to something about to happen, forgetting to look at the ground at your feet. You pick up an avocado hoping to make guacamole, only to find it hard as a rock with anticipation for tomorrow’s day, not quite fit for making guac, so you leave it in the fridge. That same afternoon, you return to it with the new idea of slicing it and putting it on toast, only to find it has become too mushy to be sliced, so you leave it on the counter. The next day, you return to it to finally cut it open, and find that it is too mushy for anything at all, with dark spots crawling on the light green flesh. So then perhaps the mythical “prime” of this devilish fruit doesn’t exist, the “present” an elusive thing before it becomes nostalgia. I want a perpetually solid avocado to fulfill all of my slicing needs, and another forever mushy one for on-demand guacamole. I know I can’t have that. They haven’t even made GMO avocados that do that yet. So what then? So what if you’re looking forward to something that’s yet to happen? Something is happening right now for you to miss later. So what if I lost my watch the first month of my freshman year in college? Its reliable mechanics have gotten me this far, and I have nothing but good memories and a sweet few chapters of my story with its rosy reflection glimmering on it. So what if something has already happened and you feel sickening butterflies upon its absence? At least you once had something beautiful enough to cause this colorful affliction. So what if my guacamole is a little chunky because the fruit was unripe? So what if my order of avocado toast is a little mushy because the fruit was too ripe? Before it gets rotten and you have to trash it six feet under, eat your avocados.

A Table of Our Own

Lucy Kaplan
November 12, 2025

A Table of Our Own I arrange tea candles on the tablecloth, makeshift and patterned by stains that bleed into the florals. A relic of our parents’ generation, the textile is only thick enough to disguise the aged wood it envelopes when folded twice over itself. Tonight, it bares the weight of the six hours I spent cooking. We have first une salade niçoise served with lightly candied brussel sprouts. A crested hill of layered caprese follows, sliced baguette flowering its perimeter. Guests arrive in waves. Three are early and two are insultingly late, forgiven for the gossip they bring to the table. She told me he didn’t even wave when he saw her the morning after. Friends present gifts of crisp grapes, whimsical confections, bottles they pray aren’t too sweet. As we find our seats, I wonder: is this the dinner party of our parents’ generation or a reincarnation of our childhood birthday celebrations? It seems to me as if every young adult loves a dinner party. A gathering classy enough to warrant dressing with inspiration, but intimate enough to speak without reservation. Maybe it’s the breaking of bread, a practice reportedly powerful enough to have united the Democrats and the Federalists, the Wampanoag and the colonists. But just as those narratives are not simple truths, neither is the elation of our careful gatherings. Dining together can be as unpleasant as it is festive. Generations of meals have been the source of unassailable tension: reunions made unpalatable by parental bickering and younger brothers smacking their gravy-smeared lips. In attendance are the people we love—though perhaps do not always like. Our dinner parties, however, are distinct in their autonomy of choice. In childhood, parents managed the grunt work, pitching fairy-lit tents in the living room, ordering pizza to satiate the crowd. Now, we find ourselves left to our own devices. We create countless lists in the name of adulthood. Dinner 07.13 Invite list: Yeses, nos, maybe-sos. A back-up list if someone falls through; empty chairs thrill no one. Invitation draft: Dearest friends, you have been chosen. Dress appropriately. Menu: Parmesan crisped yams, miso butter gnocchi, flank steak. Made to impress. Shopping list: Chicory root, sardines, brie. The cheapest available. Setting the table, I think about generations past. Decades prior, someone else a few years older must have stood in this kitchen—a local career politician or an established dermatologist. He too was expecting visitors, but with not nearly as much anticipation. He knew the procedure by rote—when to serve the second course, when to slyly refill his neighbor’s wine glass. He could identify a false laugh and ease a lapse in conversation without skipping a beat. The guests were familiar, practiced in leaving their shoes at the front door. I can almost place my childhood self into the scene: sunken into the corner chair, across from the man in the ugly scarf. Last time I saw you, I could have fit you in my briefcase! Why do middle-aged academics delight in making middle-schoolers feel small? Our guests are poles apart, far closer in affect to the children our parents once invited to summer movie nights on our behalf. They stumble at the formalities. Someone might forego the formal dress code for a sloppy pair of basketball shorts; we will say nothing but stare as he meticulously covers his lap with a napkin. Dock one point. Someone else might bring a new boyfriend with no notice; we will feign placidity as he pulls an extra seat between a pair of best friends longing to catch up. Dock two points, maybe even three. But what we lack in finesse we make up for in forgiveness. Friendship is a delicate thing—we know some faux pas are best granted a silent pardon. Warm light washes down our nerves as the feast begins. Some go all-in, stacking their plates with mismatched goodies brought by unpracticed guests. (Was this supposed to be a potluck? No one quite got the story straight.) Others graze, arms extending clumsily across the table to pluck an olive, a “pardon my reach” carefully uttered. We take an unspoken pride in our maturity, remembering our pleases and thank-yous so far from the oversight of our elders. The night then goes one of two ways. The clinking of cutlery might crescendo at half-past nine. Replacing it will be an awkwardness which we bear with guilt. If the spark of enlightened conversation never catches fire, we are left with a table full of friends-turned-family-turned-strangers. We might have worn the badges we found in our parents’ closets with too much assurance. Cause of death: an indulgence of formality and poverty of wine. One can only pretend that they don’t want to talk about sex for so long. Tonight, however, we evade a tragedy of the commons. The now unlit candles go unnoticed, puttering out one after the other; as the tablecloth dims, our momentum only swells. Half of the crowd is debating the merits of Machiavelli, the other half the audacity of a kid we knew from high school. The catch is, it doesn’t really matter. Everyone is full and no one wants to leave. Someone reveals an expensively curated box of chocolates from a rumpled tote they had carefully hidden beneath the table. We pass it counterclockwise, excitedly snagging the sweet recommended by the person before. I bite down and my mouth bursts with nostalgia. A buttery shortbread, laced with silky caramel and enrobed in milk chocolate—a Twix bar by another name. I watch my friends bite into rebranded versions of their own childhood favorites: Snickers, Milky Way, Almond Joy. Are they too thinking about Halloweens past? How we zealously provoked territorial disputes over the mounds of sweets poured onto my living room floor. It feels no different than how we tonight bicker over who deserves the final drops from the bottle. Across the table sits the girl who watched me blow out purple candles on my eleventh birthday. She wore different glasses back then, thicker frames that obscured the brilliant eyes that now lock with mine. I watch her fingers toy with the stem of a glass as she chews her grown-up Kit Kat. To love her is to peer through a foggy window. If I squint, I can piece together the blurry outlines of our past: the pizza parties, the Halloween spats, the movie nights we spent wrapped in blankets on the porch. Then a new image clears—decades of future soirees coming into view. I am elated to see that the future unfolds not at our parents’ tables, but around a table of our own.

Zia Felicetta: A Portrait

Luca Raffa
November 12, 2025

I parked in her empty driveway and approached the proud house with stubborn orange bricks. The black railing guiding me to the door ailed with rust, though the white paint on the house was fresh as the snow. It was dim, the sun obscured in this dull December sadness, and the icy lake winds caused the lampposts to shiver with doubt. I rang the little doorbell and peered around. The short bungalows huddled close together to keep warm from the snow. Darkness was beginning to blanket the neighborhood. Suddenly, a faint light flickered on from inside. I peeked through the doorframe glass with a smile and watched as a figure hurried towards me. The door opened. Zia Felicetta greeted me with a tender hug and the touch of her delicate cheeks on each of mine. Her demeanor was elusive, her faint smile always uncertain below her serious eyes––sad, dry eyes which caved into her head and cast shadows. The wrinkles on her cheeks and on her forehead revealed the scars of time, though her small diamond earrings restored some dormant youth still hiding within her. Black strands like needles freckled the white hay that crowned her head. Zia waddled towards the kitchen, and her plump body disappeared into the dark. A nativity scene of plastic figurines emerged in the corner. Zia had been a widow for over forty years and was the last and only surviving of five loving sisters and their husbands. Across the walls, these ghosts gawked at me, black and white, through the frames: Zia’s husband holding her tight in her wedding dress; her sisters––Carmella, Roquina, Peppinella, and Maria, my grandmother––through the years at her wedding, and at their weddings, and at their children’s weddings; her nephews and nieces who died as infants; the only surviving photograph of her mother Vittoria, the woman she watched die as an infant, wearing a dirt-caked shirt, a shoddy headscarf, and a faint smile; her father as a young man with a black coppola hat and a black mustache; and the same man with a bushy grey mustache and slicked back hair. Hovering higher on the walls were images of saints, Gesù, crucifixes, and a collection of memoriam cards she gathered over years from funerals. She even framed a photograph of Montoleone di Puglia, the town she left behind: a cluster of orange shingles, brown bricks, and white concrete sleeping on a hill and surrounded by green planes and wildflowers. Zia returned holding a ready plate of cookies wrapped in tinfoil, the wrinkly fat drooping from her arms from the weight of the plate. She invited me to sit at the table and offered me an espresso which I knew I could never refuse. She vanished again into the kitchen, and in the silence of her home I could hear the clanking as she fed the cafetera the espresso grinds and placed it on the stove. When she returned to the dining room table, she unwrapped the cold cookies. She enjoyed making food and freezing it for an infrequent visitor. She put a hard candy into her mouth that reeked of licorice, anise, and fennel and began to suck. The hot espresso breathed life into us and kindled conversation. She was simple, of little words, knowing only how to talk about her food, her family, her garden, or God. She had no preferences, few opinions. She paused a lot and would watch me. She was a patient woman, watching intently and listening as I sipped on my bitter espresso. When she began to speak, the movement of her firm jaw and soft lips came together in a symphony of schwas. Soon, it was time for me to depart and return Zia to her solitude. Her frail pleas asking me to stay surrendered to my guilty resoluteness, and she disappeared into the basement for one last parting gift. As I waited for her before the door, I glanced at the frames on the wall again. I started to wonder if Zia ever talked to these ghosts––after all, she was a spiritual woman. Zia emerged from the staircase and brought me more cookies in tinfoil and a panettone to remember her by. She embraced me and kissed each cheek, speaking to me I love you in her unsteady English. I said goodbye. She waited alone in the frame of the door. The cold followed her inside. I thought about how she might become a photograph someday, and my heart sank.

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